Could I say, as Foreign Secretary for Overseas how completely disgusting it is that Putin is poisoning our Russians. Mr Skruple is an honoured citizen among us, one of the people we want to welcome as immigrants, but not too many of them and we want others to go back after Brexit. Mr Skruple was indeed invited to this country for services done for Britain, entirely above board, in collecting information for which we did not pay about Russian football results.
Russia is up to the right on your maps of the world. It is big and you can’t miss it, as my Permanent Secretary said to me. It is a big wicked Communist country controlled by oligarchs, except the ones who come over here. I was honoured to play a tennis match with Mrs Chernukhin, and she was a good oligarch’s wife. I let her win and she donated £160,000 to the Conservative Party, thus proving that not all oligarchs are Communist, as are not the other oligarchs and oligarchs’ wives who have given £820,000 to the Conservative Party. I may add that £160K for two sets puts me up there with that Swiss feller in the value of my shots. These are honourable people, our kind of nice guys, and we welcome them to Britain as we welcome all who will give Conservatives dosh.
At Eton I was a boarder which is ultimate qualification for immigration control. One side of a boarder is in and the other side is out and no messing about, as I will make clear when I am Caesar, or Boris the Bold, as I am inviting you ordinary people to call me. And Salisbury is in Britain. That is why I, as Foreign Secretary,am speaking about it. It is in my patch, as they say, Russia not Salisbury.
Even today as Putin faces re-election we face the fact that, although Jeremy Corbyn is backing Communist Putin, he has authorised the poisoning of people on our soil. The verdict has been given by Mrs May, and also by the Daily Mail, and we are certain of it. I, as Foreign Secretary, am certain of it. It is another case of weapons of mass destruction which should have been destroyed being used against us, like Iraq, and Putin in my book is a rotter like Saddam; he should be whacked. Our quarrel is not with Russian oligarchs, but with the Kremlin, and, if I may say, we will get NATO to do endless war games and manoovers in Ukraine and the Russian borders to show we want a peaceful world.