Skip to content

Teresa/Trump letters

Dear Treesa

trump

I thort i’ts time yoo gotten a tweet from me to yoo NOW. I try to rite out of the system, so they carnt get me. Sleazy Washington that is.

I learnt to tipe for my fans and twitter, but will not put my secretary on this one. Its pure me. Yoo can save it for history

Ta for the invite. Ill be over sometime when your Queen has cleared the Palace West Wing and yoov trained the staff. May stay for golf.

Contry to the media, the White House is not shit. Im planning doing it blue with another ten storys. Yoo must quit that terrace!

Hilary is in leeeG with RUSSIA and RUSSIA is the enemy. North Korea can be a US State and China is DISAPPOINTING. See it clearly, not through FAKE NEWS.

Thank yoo for looking after my golf course and keeping the Scots quiet up there. I need a runway right by it on flat land. Thanks.

I’ts a bit scary here! My workers are goin mad sackin one another, but now I’ve put a General in charge and heel shoot hell out of them that steps out of line. Is that sentence too long?

But weer running the greatest show on earth and weeve done nearly everything already. I’m changing Omabacare to Trumpcare.

Someone’s got to be in CHARGE, Treesa, and in Britain its yoo under me of course, not FAKE NEWS.

Yoove got to get your family in the Goverment. Your man could be Treasury with his hands on the money and then you can move things.

Get the stock market up and all the rich kids wont give a damn about anything else. Its wot yoo say that counts not what yoo doo.

Remember, If yoo change your mind, its still the same mind, because its your mind.

Weer doing a major trade deal. Yoo need our beef, our planes, our bombs, our films, our steel, our corn and we need your beefeaters and things.

Tell your Boris guy that I like GUSA, but I’m not sure about GB. It’s a bit hi and mighty close to us and you should change it to Ordinary Britain or OB. GUSA and OB – that’s nice.

I’m working on nuking all the people who can nuke us. You don’t count cos yoove got our nukes anyway and weeve got switches.

That’s all you need for now. Dont mention it. Remember the runway.

Donald, the GestPOTGUSA.

Alan Storkey

Alan Storkey

Economist, sociologist, writer and painter, living near Cambridge.

About Alan

More writings

Teresa/Trump letters

Teresa/Trump letters

( read this slowly) My Americans,

I am your President and I am Donald Trump. I come before you and you will elect me again to be your greatest President because you are the greatest electorate in the world and we are going to make America great again…

Read the essay

Teresa/Trump letters

You Do It My Way

(This text is transcribed from a small voice recording machine obtained through the White House rubbish disposal system which occasionally does not work properly) Oh, where the fuck is that voice recording thing? You…

Read the essay

Teresa/Trump letters

Dear Donald, What a roller coaster…

Dear Donald, Well what a roller coaster it is running world politics! I recognise that Medium Britain, as I now call it in deference to the Great United States of America, is concerned with more humble things than cross…

Read the essay